A network of adoptive families, birth families, and adoption professionals which exists to improve the lives of children and others touched by adoption through support and education. UFA is actively engaged in community outreach and advocacy to raise awareness of adoption as a loving option.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Adoption from a Siblings Point of View

Picture by: Named June (kameejune.com)
Today we get the opportunity to hear from teen
Brianna Crampton.  Brianna shares her experiences with adoption in her own words!
We love that Brianna is willing to share her story with all of us!
Happy National Adoption Month Brianna!!!  
Thanks for lending your voice to this special work!

The year I turned five, I asked my parents a significant question, “Why don’t I have any brothers or sisters?”  This was a simple, yet legitimate question.  It was then that my parents explained that due to my mother’s infertility, I would probably be an only child for a long time.
 I just kept crying, “I don’t understand. I don’t understand.” Some understandings are extremely difficult for a child to grasp. I did understand that I was lonely!  That emotion would soon change to elation.
                The December of my kindergarten year, my mom, who teaches high school, picked me up from school with some exciting news. “One of my students is pregnant, and she and her boyfriend want to meet you and daddy this evening.  They are thinking about adoption.” I was ecstatic.
                “They want to meet me?”  I questioned.
                “Absolutely. In fact, I talk about you and your dad all the time in my classes.”
                “Are they bringing the baby with them?”
                “Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. The little one is still in its mommy’s tummy.”
                The first thing I did when we returned home from school was clean my room, because I wanted to impress our guests.
                The student and her boyfriend arrived a few minutes after seven, and I answered the door.
                “Are you Brianna?”
                I beamed and nodded without response.
                “Well, it is very nice to finally meet you.”
                The student had beautiful blue eyes that held a deep concern. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but at that point, my parents welcomed our guests into the family room. I anxiously listened to their conversation, attempting to decipher their words…….”social worker,” “June,” “right choice,” “adoption.” I kept glancing at my parents, especially my mom. I whispered to her, ‘Why are you crying?”
                “Because I am so happy, little miss. You’re going to be a big sister.”
The student, Beth, had come to my Mom in December 2001 stating that the reason she had missed so many classes was that she was pregnant and was too worried to tell her parents.  Her father had been a Stake President for the LDS Church in Virginia before they moved to Utah, and she was worried about how he might react. My mom told Beth that she would give her the missing homework and class assignments so that she could catch up with the other students. Beth then came to her a few weeks later stating that she felt that she needed to place the baby for adoption since she was too young and still in school. She was by then registered with LDSFS in Pleasant Grove. At the time we lived in Orem, so we registered with LDSFS in Provo. After the two social workers had discussed the case, they informed us that since we lived so close and knew where each other lived, that this was too open and we would not be able to go through LDSFS for the adoption. They did however, say that they felt we were a good match and proposed the following – Mom and Dad would pay LDSFS $300 to complete the initial paperwork, and act as our agents, and we would pay for Beth's medical expenses etc. . They would also allow us to use the LDS Church’s adoption attorney who would charge us the same fees that he charged LDSFS. Several months later we all met at a restaurant to discuss things since we were only two months away from the birth. Our social worker told Beth at the restaurant she still needed to " officially" tell my Mom and Dad that she had chosen us to be the adoptive parents. When the social workers left the restaurant Beth gave Mom a big hug and asked her then. They both cried tears of joy and things were set in place. As the delivery date approached, Beth had asked for the last two weeks of privacy. Our family returned from a scheduled vacation to England to await the birth of my new baby sister. The next week passed and so did the delivery date. No word from the social workers and we were worried that she had changed her mind. The next Tuesday, we received a call from our social worker telling us that Beth had delivered a week late...the baby was born the night before... and placement was scheduled for the next evening at our home. At 8 pm on the Wednesday evening, Beth and her boyfriend arrived and after a few minutes of casual chatting mom asked dad and I to  go downstairs and let them have some time alone. When they were ready they would bring the baby down to us. Mom had purchased two identical yellow blankets and had previously given one to Beth. That evening, she transferred Bethany out of her yellow blanket and into ours. The couple must have spent at least 20 minutes crying in their car in our driveway before they drove away. It was heartbreaking yet we knew that this was supposed to be. Beth initially married then divorced the boyfriend. Today she is happily married in the temple and has two little girls of her own.
I actually have two adopted siblings, and both stories are quite similar. My second sister, Sadie, was adopted three years after Bethany.  Here is her story:
My Mom teaches Greek and Roman mythology ,  and each year she takes her students on an educational trip to Greece . In 2005, a parent of one her students, Janet Harmon, went on the trip to act as a chaperone. While talking with Janet on the last day of the trip, my mom told her the story of Bethany’s adoption, and how my parents really wanted more children. Upon hearing this, Janet spoke up, saying that she had a friend in her neighborhood named Jenn who was eight months pregnant.  Jenn had decided that her baby girl would be happier in a different home, so she was searching for a family to adopt her. The day after my parent’s return from Greece, Jenn called my mom and they chatted for about two hours. She expressed her desire to come and see our home and family. The next Saturday, she came to our house, and almost immediately knew that our home was where her child belonged. Two weeks later, Sadie was born in the American Fork hospital, and my parents brought her home. My parents went through all the necessary paperwork for everything, and she was finally ours. I was overjoyed at the arrival of my new baby sister, Sadie, and I was so grateful to Jenn for making the unselfish choice to put her up for adoption.
My sisters’ birth mothers are two women that I admire greatly. I will never fully understand their sacrifice, but they will always be my heroes. My sisters are now 11 and 8 years of age. They know how special and loved they are in our family. They each know their adoption story and how much joy they have brought to my mom, dad and me. 
                If you are reading this, and if you are pregnant and still in high school, I implore you to please consider placing your baby for adoption with a loving couple who are currently unable to have children of their own. You will bring so much joy to them, and make a family complete with your unselfish sacrifice. Your “mistake” can be a silver lining to a young couple who yearn for a child of their own. You may also bring great joy to a sibling who will no longer be an only child.

Brianna Alexis Crampton
Senior at Timpanogos High School

4 November 2013

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it is able to touch many people and share what a positive choice adoption can be. My little boy, who is adopted, I'd also hoping he won't be an only child. We currently have an adoption profile with LDSFS. It can be found at itsaboutlove.org profile #24317314. Thank you again for sharing, your story is beautiful.


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