A network of adoptive families, birth families, and adoption professionals which exists to improve the lives of children and others touched by adoption through support and education. UFA is actively engaged in community outreach and advocacy to raise awareness of adoption as a loving option.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Being A Mom

image by phil41dean
I was the best six-year old mommy any baby doll could ask for! And why wouldn’t I be? I had the world’s greatest mom for an example; and a stepmom that was tops too! And I had awesome grandmas that must’ve been great moms. So yeah, I knew what it took to be a good mom to my Baby Beth and to my Honey Doll. Yep, they were diapered and fed, they were taken for walks, and they never went without proper clothes and shoes (much to my wonderful mom’s frustration since my shoes just wouldn’t stay on those tiny doll feet). And I just knew that when I grew up I would be the best mom to twin girls. Oh yeah, I had it all figure out!

You can imagine, then, my surprise and disappointment as an adult when just becoming a mom did not come easily. My sisters were moms, my friends were becoming moms, and then there was me. Where were my twin girls? Heck, where was my one precious child, for that matter? And why didn’t I deserve to be a mom? I had lots of exceptional role models who would gladly become helpers if needed. And I had tons of love to give, so when is my baby coming?!

In February 2006, after an absolutely priceless week in New York with my mom, my life changed suddenly. I underwent a magical transformation. I became a new me! The “me” I knew I was meant to be. The most perfect baby girl found me, and I became her mom. Yes, I was a MOM! Unbelievable! That little girl looked at me with her big blue-gray eyes and stole my heart right out of my chest. And suddenly I realized I had never truly known what being a mom meant, until that moment. I didn’t understand what drove my mom to be the very best mom, until then.

Of course being a mom means so many things. It means caring for and nurturing your children. It means living your life as a teacher, as a good example. It means making mistakes, saying your sorry, and picking up and moving forward. It means being open to the lessons your kids have to teach you, even if that lesson is patience at their most precocious moments. Motherhood means providing for your children, ensuring their health and safety. It means sleepless nights because of diaper changes and feedings, then monsters and bad dreams, and then finally just worry. But mostly, to me, being a mom means a big piece of my heart is held outside my body, and in the palm of my little girl’s hand. It means we have a sacred bond unique from all others that cannot be severed. It means God has entrusted one of his angels to me, and I am so blessed and privileged to have her.

In July of 2012 I was so blessed to gain another mom role. I am so privileged to get be stepmom to two wonderful boys, and I hope I can do this as well as my stepmom has done. While the tasks involved with stepmom-ing are a little different, the main root of mothering is still there, and it is still love. Each of those boys has their own unique place in my heart that worries and cares, that fills up with love and swells with pride.

God made me a mom, my children teach me how to do it every day, and my mom and stepmom laid a great foundation and built a beautiful path for me to follow. I always knew I would be a mom, I just didn’t realize what a tremendous job, what amazing blessings that title would bring with it.

- Andrea Ceely

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