A network of adoptive families, birth families, and adoption professionals which exists to improve the lives of children and others touched by adoption through support and education. UFA is actively engaged in community outreach and advocacy to raise awareness of adoption as a loving option.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Ashli's Story

Being a birth mother means so much to me and has been such a positive experience in my life. I have grown as a person and have realized what is important. When I found out I was going to be a single parent, I decided to look more into adoption. I wanted to keep my options open and make the best decision for my child. The reason I chose adoption was because I knew I couldn't give my baby the best life he deserved. I wanted him to have both a mom and a dad who could give him everything I couldn't. It was very important to me that he was sealed to a family and had the gospel in his life. I knew I had to put my selfish feelings aside and think about the baby. I loved him enough to give him a better life. Deciding to place my baby for adoption was the hardest decision I have ever made, but the best thing I could have done for him.

I have a very open adoption. I have an awesome relationship with the baby I placed and his family. I love the openness and I'm so grateful that his family has allowed me to still have a relationship with him. Every time I see him, I am reminded that he has such an amazing life. A life I couldn't have given him. His family loves him so much! I love him so much and I feel so blessed to be his birth mother. I know he will understand and know how much I love him as we continue to have a relationship. Adoption is amazing and has made me a better person. It's amazing how a birth mother and an adoptive couple can be an answer to each others prayers in two totally different ways.

When I hear the word birth mother, I feel a mixture of emotions. The song "From God's arms, to my arms, to yours" by Michael McLean, is a good way to describe the way a birth mother feels. The song is about a birth mother who is talking to the adoptive mom. She explains the emotions she goes through as she chooses adoption and how she feels deep within her heart that her unborn child belongs to their family. She asks the adoptive mom to tell the child how much she loves him. A few lines of the song that describe a birth mother's emotions are "If you chose to tell him, if he wants to know, how the one who gave him life could bear to let him go. Just tell him there were sleepless nights I prayed and paced the floors, And knew the only peace I'd find, was if this child was yours. And maybe, you could tell your baby, when you love him so that he's been loved before. By someone who delivered your son, From God's arms, to my arms, to yours. I'm just trusting in my feelings, and I'm trusting God above, And I'm trusting you can give this baby, both his mothers' Love."

Birth mothers love the children they place for adoption. Even though I miss him and think of him everyday, I wouldn't go back and change anything because he is where he is supposed to be and has a wonderful life.

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