I simply reply, "No, that is not how it is done and I could never do that."
I was very fortunate to meet my husband and get married a year after the placement of my daughter. Then two months into our marriage we found out we were having twins. I love T with all of my heart. She has a loving family with a mother and father. I could never ask for more. She will always be a part of me. I see that having the opportunity to have other children as a second chance. Heavenly Father gave me a second chance to do things the correct way. In my opinion. He blessed me two fold.
I know that some birth mothers feel that they could never have any other children after placing. I do not share those feelings. I only feel that the love is multiplied. There is no greater love than the love a mother has for a child.
So, yes I moved on but I will never forget. I feel as though we are not meant to forget the hard times or moments that significantly impacted our lives. We remember them for a reason. A lesson learned.
As I continue to raise my twins and watch them grow, I constantly am thinking of T and how she might have similar personality traits to the girls. I came to realize shortly after placement that I had to move on. I could not wallow in self pity of missing T. If I wanted her to be proud of me I knew I had to finish college and be the best person I could be. So I decided to move on from the past, even though it hurt.
Even though I have my own family now, raising two toddlers with a new baby on the way doesn't mean I have forgotten about T or miss her any less. She is why I am such a huge adoption advocate. Adoption is a huge part of my life and I want the world to know what a blessing it can be. I speak as an adoptee, birth mother, and a hopeful adoptive mother someday.
It is possible to move on with life after placement. Just never forget where you have been and the person you have become because of it.
How do you define "moving on?" What have you done to help yourself move forward
in life after a placement? Leave your comments below, or submit a guest post.