|image by Stuart Miles|
X "People who choose adoption are very young, have drug problems, are very poor, and have unstable lifestyles."
I wish this were true but as a result of these instabilities, such women generally lack the clarity and presence of mind to choose adoption. On the contrary, I've seen who've chosen adoption are conscientious, selfless, responsible people who, for those qualities, would make the best parents. In fact, by putting their child's needs above their own, that's just what they're being.
While women of all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and circumstances have chosen adoption, the average age is 22. A young girl's frontal lobe is not fully developed and she often won't have a very clear sense of the reality of tomorrow or the needs of another person outside of herself. So she's going mainly on instinct, which of course dictates that she does not separate from her offspring. Even at 18, it was nothing short of divine intervention that got me to, and through, my decision. That said, I have known girls, as young as 12, wise beyond their years and they are my heroes!
One of my many resistances to the idea of adoption was that I thought I didn't fit the bill. I thought adoption was for "those girls," the ones who would clearly be terrible parents. But I knew I was a good person. I would be a good mom. I thought, "If you can raise your child, you do." I now know it's a matter of good, better, best.
We want to hear from you. Are people surprised when they find out "someone like you" chose adoption? Do people make faulty assumptions about your child's birth parents? Leave your comments below.