A network of adoptive families, birth families, and adoption professionals which exists to improve the lives of children and others touched by adoption through support and education. UFA is actively engaged in community outreach and advocacy to raise awareness of adoption as a loving option.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Adoption Myths Busted, Part 2

image by Stuart Miles
This is the second in our series of common misconceptions about adoption. To read the introduction and the first myth in the series, go here.

"If I choose adoption....I'll be broken." 

This was a misconception of mine. It's also true and false. It was fully my expectation at the time I made my choice that I would function around a broken heart for the rest of my life, like an emotional limp. My choice did break my heart, to be sure. My arms ached for him. My chest hurt. It felt as if my air went with him. I had longed, I had missed, I'd felt loss, but never like this. To write of it now I can still feel the memory of it. I had lost a child. and I felt it. Not just for a few days or weeks or months. I felt sorrow and grief for the first few years and occasionally even still.

I have to say though, there was peace and sweetness to temper the bitter aching from the very start. But as time passed it began to be intermingled with more and more gratitude, peace, joy, until I rarely hurt anymore. I feel deeply when I tell my story but when I cry, don't feel sorry for me! My tears are the gratitude my words can't express! Justin stopped by on his way home and saved me. He was my missionary! My love for him was the only motivation sufficient to make me change. Had God not blessed me with these most difficult trials, I'd still be locked up in anger and pain and darkness, my view so narrow. And I wouldn't know love. 

I'm not back to how I was before I placed my son. I'm SO much better! I'm not broken. I'm mended! Somehow, my greatest loss has been more than adequately compensated for. That's nothing but a miracle!
Tamra Hyde, birth mother, UFA board member


  1. i can't write anymore cause you write too blasted amazing! You words are nothing but a far better echo of all I have/do feel! You are incredible!


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